A Point of Laws

There are some points of law I gotta make here:

1. Law of Sanity: In-laws are not allowed to stay with you longer than 3 days, 3 nights, period.
2. Law of Respecting Law # 1: Any deviation of said Law #1 is in reckless disregard and gross violation thereof.
3. Law of Eating: Nobody should ever bite their forks, slide the fork out against their teeth, eat with their mouth open, and talk at the same time.
4. Laws of dining out in restaurants: a) You MUST always tip appropriately which means at least 15%, but 20% of they did a good job, period; b) If you refuse to do so because you "hate tipping," you may not go to restaurants; c) You may not order a soda, drink it, and then when offered a refill, ask the server if you may substitute it for a coffee without being charged for it; d) If you have insisted upon paying the bill, You may not take the tab and announce aloud that it is "Inventory Time" and read off everything that is on the tab.
5. Violations of any aforementioned laws will result in continued and increased frustrated blogging.

Eye-yigh-yigh already.